Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Talking Turkey

I feel the need to talk a little turkey...

I was eavesdropping at the Applebees.

Okay. I know. It's not kind, and it really wasn't my fault exactly. I was there first and the waitress sat these two women directly behind me. To be fair-- I was reading quietly and eating a bowl of soup. And as we all know, soup is not a noisy food.

The two women came in and were, I'm sorry to say, rather loud. It was around 3:00pm and the place was quiet. I am a no frills customer. I tell that to the waitress. I have limited funds. I tell them what I want, I smile, say thank you and basically tell them, " I pretty much won't cause you any trouble. Just a refill once in a while." They love that.

My two noisy companions behind me, were slightly more demanding, making "Sue," the waitress run back and forth with several requests. Finally they began their lunch and their conversation. And hence I began my eavesdropping. Again, by pure accident.

The conversation went something like this...(names changed to protect noisy people in restaurants)

Noisy Woman #1: "Did you hear about "Marla"?

Noisy Woman #2 "Could you believe it? I think they're going to lose the house. I mean after losing her job after all those years! I couldn't believe it. When I saw her at the PTA, I mean what do you say? What do you say?"

Noisy Woman#1: "And her husband's hours were cut down to next to nothing. I have no idea what they're living on!"

Noisy Woman #2: " I mean what DO you say? Well, Barry and I were talking, and well, I'm glad we're not going to face that. His job is secure and well...the house is taken care of."

Noisy Woman#1: "She forgot the dressing! I can't believe it! Miss? Miss?? These waitresses are like deaf....Miss?"

Noisy Woman #2: "And can we get a little more ice. Thank you dear."

Noisy Woman #1: "Anyway....I saw her after Church and I thought, maybe you know, I should DO something, like I don't know, ask her to dinner, maybe drop off some groceries..."

Noisy Woman #2: "I'm not a fan of this new menu..."

Noisy Woman #1: "I know. The service has gone down too."

Noisy Woman #2: "So did you?"

Noisy Woman #1: "What? Oh, no. Well.. I mean I didn't want to upset her. I mean I wanted to DO something, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. When we saw each other I asked her how things were going and she looked at me and smiled and said,  ' We're doing the best we can.' My heart just about broke. I mean after she said that, I felt like I should do something, but I mean, what? What could I do? I couldn't just march over there and hand her money or give her a box of food could I?"

Noisy Woman #2 (Munching)"You and Marla have known each other a long time..."

Noisy Woman #1: (Sipping) "The boys were in pre-K together. They've gone through school together. I can't believe this is happening. I mean you hear this on the news. But here? Unbelievable. I mean we cut back, things are tight. But losing your home, your job... having to move.. Why didn't they plan better? That's what I want to ask her. Or why doesn't she just leave? I wish I could help."

Noisy Woman #2: " I know. Hey you want to split the dessert?"

Noisy Woman #1: " Sure. So how are things with Barry?"

I will let the conversation stand as it is and simply say, that there are hundreds and hundreds of people like Marla that you know.

And you wonder how to help them. And you think they'll be insulted so you don't DO anything. But instead of wondering HOW...just try something. Call them. Invite them for dinner. Slip $20 in their coat pocket or pocketbook and say nothing. Leave a gas card on their car seat. Leave fresh groceries on their doorstep. Be a silent giver this holiday season and all year round. You don't need to do with a great big audience. Just a silent gesture of true love and friendship.

I have been blessed by many through such actions and am living through the kindness of others and others will benefit from my experience in the future. So I urge you this season especially, give kindness. Pass on generosity.  That's the only thing we can control it seems. Not taxes, not jobs, not anything else, but we can control kindness to each other, and lending a helping hand to those in need. Because just as easily we could be those in need and need that hand.
 
No money? No worries. Bring a smile to someones face. Share laughter. These things are free. So if you don't have the ability to buy groceries or dinner, just sit with a friend and share laughter. You can't imagine for someone who is poor in spirit how rich that will make them feel.

Never feel that there is nothing that can't be done for a friend in need. There is always something. A smile, a kind word. A hug. A walk. A card, a letter, a note, a voice mail, a text. An encouraging word. A hand to hold. You have the power to turn someones entire life around today.

Or you could simply sit back and make noise.


1 comment:

  1. Pat, what a perfect blog post.....and you've hit the nail on the proverbial head. Believe me, Pat's right...this job loss business...and having to be careful, and perhaps lose everything you've worked for all your life because there just isn't any money any more, and certainly no job to go to every morning in order to make the house payment because THERE ARE NO JOBS.....it's REAL, and it could happen to any one of us. Yes, it happened to me and almost a YEAR ago....we're more fortunate than some and we're surviving...and I am VERY fortunate to have friends like you, Pat, who understand what's happening in the lives of others, and how something that may very well seem insignificant to you is a HUGE help to those who really need that smile - really need that e-mail - that phone call - that contact just to know that they are not alone. It can mean more than you can even imagine. In fact, it can make all the difference.

    I am thankful for many family members and friends, and for people who, like Pat, "get it." Friends have blessed us in unexpected ways, and it's amazing to feel that sort of love and kindness. Thanks for inadvertently eavesdropping, as your message was a great one, and one that needs to be read and understood by all. GREAT JOB!

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