Sunday, February 7, 2010

What are you...a couple of comedians?

Meet my family.

My husband, The Southern Man. We've been married about 16 months. He gave up his life in the South to come here in what he likes to refer to as "this frozen wasteland" and speaks with a thick Southern accent that just melts my heart. He also has some fabulous yet confusing phrases such as "I might can" and "I'm fixin to" and "I've been rode hard and put up wet" which apparently is a fancy way of saying he's tired. The Southern Man is a great fellow and a lot of fun but has a tendency for fainting in Penn Station. He used to be in the funeral business and on our first date he picked me up in a hearse. Now that's a story worth hearing!

My son, The Fashion Designer. A freshman at FIT, the Fashion Designer has enough creativity to cover the world in suede and fringe. He is an only child, probably because he wasn't the greatest advertisement in his early years for increasing the herd. Raised primarily by me for a great part of his life, I have managed not to damage him too severely, but just enough to ensure I have comedy for the rest of my life. He still has not forgiven me for having taught him how to shave with a pink daisy razor.

My Mother, the Senior Citizen. Hates bingo but has to play it because it's apparently "mandatory" she lives in a senior citizen complex she calls "the compound." Smart, sassy and a real firecracker, I get a great deal of my comedy from her, although she rarely realizes how hilarious she is. Almost every line out of her mouth is a golden gem and when she gets disgusted with someone she starts the line with..."are you serious???" She loves to be "in the know" so much that I got her a cellphone. Teaching her to use it was a whole other thing entirely. It has become one of my most popular comedy bits and would be even funnier....if it wasn't a true story.

My goofy brother. A fellow comedian and my partner in crime, one look across the table without a word spoken can send us both into gales of laughter. We share a brain apparently, and it's not that large.

The sister who is dearly loved and is a great audience member. This sister never had a choice. We shared a bedroom and she has been listening to my schtick ever since. She deserves super kudos for that. I'm funnier now than when I played in front of a contingency of Barbies

The sister who knows everything about everything which is annoying to those of us (me) who have no clue about anything or everything. Obviously the oldest, this sibling graduated I believe cum laude..... I was lucky I got to come to graduation.

The girls. Gracie Allen and Houdini, our two cats who share an odd relationship. Gracie has a mouse addiction and will hide up to 12 little play mice under our stove that require the use of a dowel to free. Houdini has a sock addiction and steals one sock of every pair and hides them. Location still unknown.

That's the family for now. More to come.

1 comment:

  1. Wow - an exciting life, and a great blog! Thanks for sharing - I've become a "follower." What does that make me - like a saint or something, now? I hope so - I'll have one up on Rendo!

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